Friday, September 26, 2008

Could it be true?


Rumor has it that fantasy football god, LaDanian Tomlinson and his manager Eric Friedman were spotted eating at a local Golden Coral just last night. This can only mean one thing and speculation all over the city leads Ballkateers to believe that negotiations between SMB and FC Spanky Branch could be going on. This is a very interesting turn of events as SMB just made a blockbuster trade a week ago. The squad looks top notch on all fronts and one can only imagine what SMB would have to give up in order to land a player like LT. We'll keep you updated as we know more.

In other news, SMB wide receiver Plaxico Burress was suspended by the Giants for two games due to missing a practice and not calling in to notify management of his absence. Plaxico says it was an urgent family matter and the Giants say grow up were sticking to our guns. I can see both sides of the argument here but jesus guys, the only party getting pissed on is the SMB fiesta who'll now have to post start some loser like Brandon Loyd!

Brain Westbrook is keeping his minor injury under wraps and the more I talk to Eagle personnel the more I feel a game time decision is what we'll be left with. SMB isn't too worried about this decision though as manager Mark Davis made some key free agent pick ups this week.

Predictions for this weeks matchups.....

Suck My Balls - 112 FC Spanky Branch - 87
The Collapse - 101 DV DA - 112
Tubbs Mania - 122 Mobsters - 79
Shark Fest - 90 Laserbeams - 115
Ron Mexico - 119 Dynasty - 104 (GAME OF THE WEEK)

Player of the week prediction.....

Lee Evans (Tubbs Mania)
8 rec
165 yds
2 tds
32.5 fantasy points

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Not in week 3.....please!



Week 3 turned out to be a cakewalk for SMB, pounding that Mobsters ass 112 - 67. Not all was well though around Pubic Park after Sunday's ankle injury to Brian Westbrook. Personnel and players were all left in a state of dismay and rumor has it that there were sitings of Owner Mark Davis You Tubing "how to tie a noose" videos as a result. The frantic state was not long lived though as reports on an MRI Monday revealed no tears or structural damage to Westbrook's ankle, the Philadelphia Inquirer reports. This was a huge relief to all ballketeers knowing that without Westbrook total domination of TCL wannabees would be rather difficult.

In other SMB news, new acquisition Brandon Marshall made a statement in his first week hauling in 6 balls for 155 yards and a touchdown. When interviewed after Sunday's massacre Marshall had only this to say...
"Who be this Thelander joker and how's he get off trading me for that no talent ass clown Joseph Addai? Armatures, I'm living in a world filled with amatures!"

Marshall now leads all receivers in receptions and is second in yards behind Greg Jennings. SMB is expecting big things from this kid and needs continued production if another Dunta Cup is in future plans.

Heading into week 4, bye weeks will play a significant roll on the starting lineup SMB throws at the unimpressive FC Spanky Branch. Armed with LT, Steven Jackson, and Darren McFadden this aged titan is stuck searching for points in low places. Stay tuned for Starting lineup and injury updates as the week progresses. Until then, may your balls be hairy and never to far from a tongue.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Welcome to the pearly gates bitches!


It's late September, work productivity has hit an all time low, and Sundays are my new favorite day of the week....all this can only mean one thing and yep, you guessed it, Shark Fest must have drafted his man crush Nate Keading cause IT'S FOOTBALL SEASON!

Suck My Balls is back baby and heading into this new season some moves have been made to pump up the already stacked powerhouse. Hot off the press, a monster deal has just been confirmed with two signatures on the dotted line. Mr. Thelander is the proud new owner of Joseph Addai and DeSean Jackson while SMB salivates over the acquisitions of Brandon Marshall and Johnathon Stewart. It's a calculated risk for me but one I feel I can take. The Colts have a tough road ahead facing JAC & TENN twice and BAL, PIT, NE, and SD who all have stout defenses. Addai looks to depend on his O-Line quite a bit and with them being roughed up this combination doesn't look to fair well.

I'm a little late on this blog thing so we're entering week 3 and SMB is currently atop the Austin division (surprise...surprise) with a record of 1-1. I like my chances for a repeat of the Dunta Cup this year but some potent teams wait in the wings.

Get To Know Suck My Balls....

YTD record: 34 - 14
# of Championships: 1
Likes: poker, sports, fur burgers, and ice cream
Dislikes: losing, Bud Selig, and long walks on the beach
Favorite Current NFL Player: Mario Williams
Favorite NFL Player EVER: Thurman Thomas (laugh it up but the guy could run)
Favorite Position: Doggie of course